Have you ever had one of those weeks………OK never mind that question, it’s only human right?  THOSE weeks are going to happen.  It’s how we deal with them, move on from them, and learn from them….that’s what really matters.

So first let me vent and say my week was yuck, gross, at one point was thinking well it can’t get worse and it DID.  One of the main reasons it was so crappy was my own dang fault.  Yep, I am taking ownership here.  I am really REALLY hard on myself.  I am what you’d call a bit A LOT of a perfectionist.  Well, last week I was called and asked to a casting call to be in a Weight Watcher’s Commercial.  I was told that they had over 2,000 people they were looking at and they asked 22 of them (me included) to attend casting calls and from that 22, they would then select 8 to go to LA to film for the commercial.   I thought the casting call went pretty good, there really wasn’t anything I thought I would change.   Well turns out I didn’t get it.  I wasn’t one of the 8 selected to go to LA and honestly I was a little heartbroken.

I felt bad, yep real bad.  Thought maybe I wasn’t good enough.  Maybe I didn’t say the right thing.  What if they didn’t think I was pretty (yep that shallow crap went through my head).  My head was even thinking wow Weight Watchers didn’t find me to be inspirational, maybe I am not.  As I thought about it my head came up with all kinds of bad things, I was terrible to myself in my thoughts.  I also did a little bit of comfort eating with some cookies and Halloween candy we purchased.  YES I know these items really wouldn’t “comfort me” and that I really didn’t need their sweet goodness to feel better, but honestly all that just didn’t matter at the time.  So I had a few of these sweets and well, I’ve got nothing more to say….I had them =)

Other things about my week were just pure crap, but I can’t blast that on my blog nor would you find it all that interesting.  Let’s just say it was craptastic on many different levels.    Then Halloween came and I thought, YES Halloween I can hand out candy to cute little kids and just enjoy the night.  The weather was terrible; I was tried and just wasn’t feeling it.  We only had about 10 trick or treaters….sigh…. Then another thing that kind of ticked me off (I might as well get it all off my chest now) was all the posts I was seeing on facebook.  People posting things like well remember that little reese cup is 300.25 calories and if you eat it or that Halloween cupcake your life is over and you suck……..ok well it didn’t really say all that but you get my point.  These post frustrate the heck out of me, because seriously if you want the Reese cup/Halloween cupcake… eat it, enjoy it this is your LIFE you shouldn’t deprive yourself, really do it ENJOY THE DARN REESE CUP OR CUPCAKE you aren’t taking down two bags of reeses or a half dozen cupcakes… It’s hallloween, one darn treat won’t be the end all, your pants will STILL fit tomorrow, you won’t wake up 50lbs gained, one treat doesn’t make you overweight just like a serving of veggies won’t make you skinny…(ok I think you get my point here).

So now I am turning my head at this week.  Throwing up the deuces and saying GOODBYE crap week.  I am going to be nice to myself.  Try to build myself back up a little bit.  MAYBE try not to be so hard on myself.

I wanted to share this with all of you because I understand that most of my posts are positive and encouraging but hey let’s face it, it’s not always rainbows and butterflies.  I have struggles just like everyone else.  Sometimes we can learn from others struggles, or see their struggles and realize we are not alone.

WOW that feels better!  Thanks for letting me vent…seriously now  GOODBYE crap week.  I am taking on this weekend with a positive outlook and will enjoy every darn second of it =)

OH and here is some proof that throughout this journey I will/have/and still EAT THE DARN “CUPCAKE” (and have lost 180 pounds in the process, just throwing it out there)…..

chocolate covered cupcake donut rena cake 2 rena cake